Awkward...Creepy

"I haven't seen something this awkward since
Richard Gere kissed Jodie Foster in Sommersby.

Will, Will and Grace

THE TIPPING POINT

when sexy goes creepy

Ok, Tennis season is underway and we love that. But I am most fearful over one thing this season: unnecessary and annoying repetition of annoying comments made by announcers. So, Mary Carillo, Dick Enberg, Pam Shriver, Chris Fowler, Bud Collins, Mary Joe Fernandez, et al., here are 5 things we don't need to be reminded of all year long.

5. Maria Sharapova's serve let her down last year. We know. We've heard it. We even saw it.
4. "Come on!" - Ok, this is for the players. I am sick of this mantra being shouted, shrieked, yelled, bellowed with trademark fist pump, usually glaring at your coach. Everyone says it; it is time for something new.
3. Justine Henin's mom died of cancer. Justine Henin's mom took Justine to the French Open. Justine told Justine Henin's mom she would win this one day. We've heard this story for a million years. Put it to rest.
2. Lindsay Davenport had a baby last year. His name is Jagger. Got it, thanks.

And the thing I most dread hearing all year long....
1. Ana Ivanovic, in war-torn Serbia, practiced tennis in a drained/converted swimming pool. That fact used to be cute. Now, you don't even want to know what I am wishing.

A Breakdown of Sharapovs

I can admit it, I like and root for Maria Sharapova a lot. I know she has her detractors and rightfully so; her father is fairly horrendous. But let's break this down. She actually is more in line with most people that I hate, so why do I giver her a get out of jail free card? This needs some examination so let's take this chronologically.

1. Her Wimbledon win. Remember she came into this match as the biggest underdog since Iva Majoli won the French, and I like most underdogs. Also she upset Serena during the time when I was sooooo sick of tiara-wearing Serena. She played with guts and overcame the pressure of a huge moment, under which 99.9% of other players would have wilted. She has my respect.

2. Post Wimbledon. Ok, in the US Open after Wimbledon, she lost in the third round to Mary Pierce, which is not the worst loss ever because that was still when Pierce was somewhat viable. Sharapova-mania was out of control by this point, but she was 17 and human. Was she just an iva majoli flash in the pan? Just you wait and see.

3. The next bajillion slams. Sharapova was the consummate semifinalist (not including the French, although she was semifinalist there 2007. AND SHE HATES THE RED CLAY!). She made it to the semis of 1)Australia, losing to Serena (who went on to beat Lindsay), 2)Wimbledon, losing to Venus (who went on to beat Lindsay), 3)US Open, losing to Clijsters, (who went on to beat Pierce). The next year, she made it the semis of Australia, losing to Henin, who went on to quit in the final because her tummy hurt; she lost in the semis of wimby losing to eventual champ mauresmo and then finally, FINALLY got to another actual final at the open and won. The point is, this consistency is inspiring and pretty much rarely seen - except for that year when Venus and Serena played in the final of everything and Serena won. I didn't like that then; I mildly like that now. Anyway, Maria entirely solidified herself as legit "i am not anna kournikova" funness.

4. Her funness! Let us not forget, she is kinda fun. Her interviews and quips tend to be blunt, sarcastic, and thus kinda funny. And just when she could have been at her most annoying, out comes the "I Feel Pretty" Commercial, which should def rank in the top 10 commercials of all time.

5. Her second biggest moment. Maybe I really only like her because her biggest moments came at beating people i currently hated. See Wimbledon above (but I now like Serena). She beat Justine at the Open when no one really thought she had that in her. Plus, she beat Justine. How could I not love her?

6. Her style of play. Honestly, I think this is why I like her most of all. I just think her strategy to hit ball as hard as she can at all times is quite interesting, and kinda funny, in its severe flawedness. Yet it works. If I were a tennis player I would probably do the same thing. Recently she is bringing more variety to her game, which is necessary. Still, she will usually go about hitting the ball so unnecessarily hard, and when things arent going right, and she needs to find a way out of a funk, what does she think to do? "I guess I should just hit it even harder." I think she is a fun player to watch.

6a. Her play during the Australian Open was pretty much spectacular. It was scary where and how she was hitting winners. Mary Carillo said it best: Maria looks like a hunter out there and Ivanovic is Bambi.

7. She is pretty, and emerged at a time when the women's tour seemed to be getting increasingly nast.

It's Only Meredith

Ok, So I took a "Which Character From The Office Are You?" Quiz. Despite all inclinations to do so, I did not try to guide my answers towards certain characters (Jim or Pam); I answered honestly. I was momentarily scared I was going to be labeled a Dwight, and then I was tickled when I thought, "Oh my, I really am Angela!" Which would have been fun, yet scary, and further proof that I have turned into my mother. But alas, I got Meredith. It has nothing to do with drinking, not entirely. As it turns out, I would love to be a stay at home parent, and I often just shrug important things off, thinking it better just not to bother, because, seriously, why even try? I am embracing my inner Meredith.

Which Character From The Office Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

The Madness Keeps Coming

Ok, This Aussie Open is going down in the books, as pretty much rocking. And I don't even care that my picks were fairly disastrous. Thanks, Andy Murray and Agnes Szavay. I will still root for them though - and probably pick them to do well, only to get those hopes dashed. Anyway, the fun kinda started with crazy long matches, including the premature ousting of Andy Roddick from another major, the most exciting Federer scare from Funky Serb, (not to be confused with Pretty Serb, Hammy Serb, and Delightful Serb). From there we saw the most historic match (so far!) of this Open, as, in case you haven't heard, trashy Lleyton Hewitt played newly cleaned-up Marcos Baghdatis in a match that didn't start until 11:47pm local time and ended circa 4:30 am. It was a great match, except the wrong person won. This day also included a wonderful press conference where new matriarch Venus Williams defended her refusal to be moved to another court so Lleyton could go on earlier. She was poised and graceful, basically like her swinging volleys, but in oratory form:

Q. Is it correct that the referee or the scheduling people gave you the option of not playing tonight and holding over to tomorrow?

VENUS WILLIAMS: I'll tell you a synopsis of what happened, and I really don't want to take any more questions about that. But basically the day session went longer, and, you know, the tournament did ask if Sania and I would consider playing at Vodafone or playing tomorrow.

Both of us didn't want to, for reasons that we felt like our match was important. We also felt like we wanted the schedule to go as planned and that, you know, we are very good players and wanted to play.

Also for the fact that we were in doubles and Sania is also in mixed. So that makes it very difficult for us too. So the tournament definitely listened to us, and gave us the opportunity to go out there and play some great women's tennis.

I think we're both happy with the result of what the tournament chose, and we played some good tennis for the crowd.

OK, but then came last night - when things went bonkers, but in a great way. It started with a match which clearly was to pull on my heartstrings: Serena vs. Jelena Jankovic. A year ago, I was still hating Serena. I admit my error and plain, wrong, and dumb thinking for so many years. But she was a fun cat-suited nemesis for a while. Now, I am pretty much on team Serena, but she really needs to dress up a bit more; she looks like a soccer mom who just got out of Curves and is running into the grocery store. So I was kinda for Serena, but that was only because we didn't know what was happening in the subsequent match (see below). But Jelena is probably my favorite woman's player, because she is just so fun to watch and kinda silly, but moves like a gazelle; there, I actually said that. But she is pretty much a non-stop giggle and emotional delight on court. Anyway, back to the match, because let's keep our judgment based solely on the tennis, k? Jelena did everything she needed to do. She ran everything down and kept up the power and pace, and pretty much nailed anything that was a backhand. Serena, was clearly sub-Serena. Every commentator is in a tizzy because her "collapse" was so unexplainable. I have the answer. She had an off day. She knew what she needed to do; her heart was in it and she tried; she couldn't get things to work and her opponent pushed some buttons. It was a fun match to watch, and really most Janky matches are. And because Justine lost later, we are fine with Jelena winning here. Frankly, she needed a breakthrough against a real top player at a major.

Ok...Now on to the real excitement: Justine (I haven't lost since that freak Marion Bartoli match at Wimbledon) Henin vs. Maria (I am a top player, I really am) Sharapova. This match was scheduled to start at 3:30am, and I really thought about waking up for it. I set my alarm actually, but when it went off, I just decided to let it go. I am a working man, after all. So I lingered and didn't sleep well and actually dreamed about seeing the Yahoo headline of a Sharapova win. At 6:57 I woke up and turned on australianopen.com, and there was the magical headline "Sharapova sizzles Past Helpless Henin" This post is getting very long so let's cut to the chase. The score made my day 6-4, 6-0. But it wasn't until I saw the replay of the match later in the day where it really sunk in. Henin was helpless. She kinda got it together late in the first set, but really she was a scrambling mess and Sharapova stood there like a giant and controlled everything. She was shrieking; her shots were booming. I love how she hits the ball so unnecessarily hard all the time, but it worked and she made some sick angles. Her serve is on fire. Way to go, Maria (I will stand wherever you hit the ball, and hit an unreal winner past you) Sharapova.

This was such a crazy day, mind you. Oscar Noms, Heath Ledger, and at some point I may have to get political to defend my Obama against that shrew.

The Golden Globes That Weren't

No strike can keep me from casting my vote!
1. BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
AMERICAN GANGSTER

ATONEMENT

EASTERN PROMISES

THE GREAT DEBATERS

MICHAEL CLAYTON

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

*THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Neck in neck for NCFOM and TWBB, which would annoy me then if there is Michael Clayton sneak attack win. I would go with NC, but I think it will be Blood after all.
2. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS– DRAMA
CATE BLANCHETT – ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE
*JULIE CHRISTIE – AWAY FROM HER
JODIE FOSTER – THE BRAVE ONE
ANGELINA JOLIE – A MIGHTY HEART
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY – ATONEMENT
Down with Jolie in a boring movie.
3. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR– DRAMA
GEORGE CLOONEY – MICHAEL CLAYTON
*DANIEL DAY-LEWIS – THERE WILL BE BLOOD
JAMES MCAVOY – ATONEMENT
VIGGO MORTENSEN – EASTERN PROMISES
DENZEL WASHINGTON – AMERICAN GANGSTER
I barely care. I don't need a smug Clooney, unless he talks about Barack Obama, which I would support, encourage, and love. We need that.
4. BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR

HAIRSPRAY

*JUNO
SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET

This race is interesting. I feel the Globes love to honor musicals. I would have said Sweeney was a shoo-in, but Juno has so much momentum right now. I pray it isn't Hairspray, and nothing seems good about Charlie Wilson
5.BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS – COMEDY
AMY ADAMS – ENCHANTED
NIKKI BLONSKY – HAIRSPRAY
HELENA BONHAM CARTER – SWEENEY TODD
MARION COTILLARD – LA VIE EN ROSE
*ELLEN PAGE – JUNO
Same as above. Marion probably has all the right reasons to win: foreign, musical, showy role, but Juno is buzzing and the globes, in an almost pedophilic way, love to award the ingénue. Poor Laura Linney, in the best performance of the year.
6. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR - COMEDY
*JOHNNY DEPP – SWEENEY TODD
RYAN GOSLING – LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
TOM HANKS – CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN – THE SAVAGES
JOHN C. REILLY – WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY
This has to be a no brainer right?
7. BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
BEE MOVIE

RATATOUILLE

*THE SIMPSONS MOVIE! (exclamation point, mine)
8. BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS (ROMANIA)

*THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY (FRANCE AND USA)
THE KITE RUNNER (USA)

LUST, CAUTION (TAIWAN)

PERSEPOLIS (FRANCE)

Kite Runner upset?
9. BEST PERFORMANCE BY A SUPPORTING ACTRESS
CATE BLANCHETT – I’M NOT THERE
JULIA ROBERTS – CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR
SAOIRSE RONAN –ATONEMENT
*AMY RYAN – GONE BABY GONE
TILDA SWINTON – MICHAEL CLAYTON
I think I am over this role, having never even seen a commercial or clip of it.
10. BEST PERFORMANCE BY A SUPPORTING ACTOR
CASEY AFFLECK – THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES
*JAVIER BARDEM –NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN – CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR
JOHN TRAVOLTA – HAIRSPRAY
TOM WILKINSON – MICHAEL CLAYTON
Over this one as well. I am now fully in the Tommy Lee Jones camp as the stronger performance in this movie; however, even TLJ is behind both Josh Brolin and Kelly MacDonald. I just thought of Kelly, and my heart just broke.
11. BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
TIM BURTON – SWEENEY TODD
*ETHAN COEN & JOEL COEN – NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
JULIAN SCHNABEL – THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY
RIDLEY SCOTT – AMERICAN GANGSTER
JOE WRIGHT – ATONEMENT
A few weeks ago I still might have said Director would go to Burton. Sadly, I feel he is waining.
12. BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
DIABLO CODY – JUNO
*ETHAN COEN & JOEL COEN – NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
CHRISTOPHER HAMPTON – ATONEMENT
RONALD HARWOOD – THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY
AARON SORKIN – CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR
Or Diablo.
13. BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
MICHAEL BROOK/ KAKI KING and EDDIE VEDDER – INTO THE WILD
CLINT EASTWOOD – GRACE IS GONE
ALBERTO IGLESIAS – THE KITE RUNNER
*DARIO MARIANELLI – ATONEMENT
HOWARD SHORE – EASTERN PROMISES
I haven't a clue. Atonement because I saw it, and they included typewriters in their score. That's novel.
14. BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
"DESPEDIDA" – LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA
Music by: Shakira and Antonio Pinto
Lyrics by: Shakira
"GRACE IS GONE" – GRACE IS GONE
Music by: Clint Eastwood
Lyrics by: Carole Bayer Sager
"GUARANTEED" – INTO THE WILD
Music & Lyrics by: Eddie Vedder
*"THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW" – ENCHANTED
Music By: Alan Menken
Lyrics By: Stephen Schwartz
"WALK HARD" – WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY
Music & Lyrics by: Marshall Crenshaw, John C. Reilly, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan
I am strictly voting for Amy Adams here, knowing that the best song of the year "Falling Slowly" from Once isn't here.
15. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
BIG LOVE
DAMAGES
GREY’S ANATOMY
HOUSE
*MAD MEN
THE TUDORS
Mad Men seems to be the new it thing, kinda boring category
16. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS TELEVISION– DRAMA
PATRICIA ARQUETTE – MEDIUM
GLENN CLOSE – DAMAGES
MINNIE DRIVER – THE RICHES
*EDIE FALCO – THE SOPRANOS
SALLY FIELD – BROTHERS & SISTERS
HOLLY HUNTER – SAVING GRACE
KYRA SEDGWICK – THE CLOSER
I can't vote for screechy Sally Field. I would love it if Glenn Close won, and then, hey, maybe started making movies again.
17. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR TELEVISION– DRAMA
*MICHAEL C. HALL – DEXTER
JON HAMM – MAD MEN
HUGH LAURIE – HOUSE
JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS – THE TUDORS
BILL PAXTON – BIG LOVE
While Mad Men is buzzing, I don't feel like any of the performances are. David Fisher is so hot and sleek and sexy right now. And I can say the exact opposite about Bill Paxton, an annoying threat here.
18. BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
30 ROCK
CALIFORNICATION
ENTOURAGE
*EXTRAS
PUSHING DAISIES
Although Pushing Daisies seems to be the belle of the Globes.
19.BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS TELEVISION COMEDY
CHRISTINA APPLEGATE – SAMANTHA WHO?
AMERICA FERRERA – UGLY BETTY
TINA FEY – 30 ROCK
ANNA FRIEL – PUSHING DAISIES
*MARY-LOUISE PARKER – WEEDS
We are all over Ugly Betty, right? I don't see Fey winning for her acting at any awards show, but I would gladly be wrong. The Pushing Daisies girl is annoying.
20. BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR TELEVISION– COMEDY
ALEC BALDWIN – 30 ROCK
STEVE CARELL – THE OFFICE
DAVID DUCHOVNY – CALIFORNICATION
*RICKY GERVAIS – EXTRAS
LEE PACE – PUSHING DAISIES
A repeat of the Office (british) double-slam from a few years ago? I would love Carell to win again. I want to hold hands with Lee Pace.
21. BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TV
BURY MY HEART AT WOUNDED KNEE
THE COMPANY
*FIVE DAYS
LONGFORD
THE STATE WITHIN (BBC AMERICA)

No idea. In 8th grade, I read Bury My Heart
22. BEST ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES/MOTION PICTURE TV
*BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD – AS YOU LIKE IT
DEBRA MESSING – THE STARTER WIFE
QUEEN LATIFAH – LIFE SUPPORT
SISSY SPACEK – PICTURES OF HOLLIS WOODS
RUTH WILSON – JANE EYRE
No one say "Starter Wife" to me ever again.
23. BEST ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES/MOTION PICTURE TV
ADAM BEACH – BURY MY HEART AT WOUNDED KNEE
ERNEST BORGNINE – A GRANDPA FOR CHRISTMAS
*JIM BROADBENT – LONGFORD
JASON ISAACS – THE STATE WITHIN
JAMES NESBITT – JEKYLL
I like Jim Broadbent as a person.
24. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS TELEVISION (SERIES/MOVIE)
ROSE BYRNE – DAMAGES
*RACHEL GRIFFITHS – BROTHERS & SISTERS
KATHERINE HEIGL – GREY’S ANATOMY
SAMANTHA MORTON – LONGFORD
ANNA PAQUIN – BURY MY HEART AT WOUNDED KNEE
JAIME PRESSLY – MY NAME IS EARL
I am so over Heigl it isn't even funny.
25. BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR TELEVISION (SERIES/MOVIE)
TED DANSON – DAMAGES
KEVIN DILLON – ENTOURAGE
JEREMY PIVEN – ENTOURAGE
*ANDY SERKIS – LONGFORD
WILLIAM SHATNER – BOSTON LEGAL
DONALD SUTHERLAND – DIRTY SEXY MONEY
Serkis is still overdue for the awards he missed out for playing Gollum. If we were to make a list of 10 people who go out of their way to annoy me, the other 5 nominees could all possibly make it.

Happy Strike!

The Land of Oz

My blog of yesteryear got pretty crazy when it came to Grand Slam picks. It was always interesting to nobody except me. Mostly because it was just so difficult to write and really just organize. I will try to make this more comprehensive and succinct. And by the way, I was always disastrously wrong. But I do pride myself on picking Ana Ivanovic to make it to the final of Roland Garros last year. Anywho, here is what I am seeing, starting with the round of 32. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, or comment. Roger has been ailing, but this will not affect him one iota.


Ladies, ladies, ladies... ANYONE BUT JUSTINE. That's all I am asking.


Shout out to the L-train, Lindsay Davenport. Get your ranking up! She will be seeded by Wimbledon....maybe. She is out in the 2nd Round to Sharapova, but I am not at all confident in that choice.

Ode To My Blister

I have a painful blister.
It hurts me oh so much
Sing it to me, sister
I really need a crutch.

My new's year resolution
Was to get back into shape
But this blistery intrusion
Has bandaged me in tape.

If ever this blister pops
Or alien to spring out
I hope I'll soon be tops
No more cringe and pout.

I bought some Neosporin
I seemed to do the trick!
Or that growth was just some foreign
Entity to pick.

Lately, the puss's subsidin'
There's not quite as much ooze
On skates I'll soon be glidin'
Perhaps try out the luge!

I'll soon be on my feet
And back to my merry self
My Aussie Open sheet
is waiting on the shelf!

-Aussie Open picks next! YES!

Karen Walker would totally snap at me, "You need to get your head out of the clouds and your legs up in the air."

Save the Globes

An Open Letter to NBC...would go something like this.

Dear NBC:
You seem hell-bent on broadcasting a Golden Globes telecast to certain failure, as no one will show up, except for a lot of angry picketers. If you insist on going through with this trainwreck, which will most likely only make this infuriating strike worse I have a feeling, you should at least figure out the best way to produce an unscripted show for the enjoyment of many. My solution for you: clips. Now, this is not as easy as it sounds, as an awkward uninspired montage can go from bad to horrendous very quickly; thus shooting itself in the foot. Still, fun clips of nominated performances have the been the very things most noticeably absent from every otherwise fun Globes telecast. In the past, there was never any rhyme or reason to which category was showcased with clips, and I know this annoyed me a lot, probably others. So you can have a whole telecast just of the clips! This could be a way to actually show support for the writers as well, if that is your angle, probably not. Still, globes and any award show scripted banter always sucks it, so that would be nice for me a viewer. Notice how I am not taking sides? I have rambled enough, here is a short list of how to create a good montage of clips:

1. Have a relevant purpose. By showcasing nominated performances, that kind of achieves that purpose. But no one forgets Haley Joel's Tribute to Kids! at the oscars or Lauren Bacall's introduction to a montage of black and white. These are missteps to avoid at all costs! (Sadly I can find no link to either tragedy) Here is a recent tribute to writers (ironic? yes) Just because we see someone physically writing or someone uses the word "write" that does not ensure a good montage...at all. Watch for this.

2. Avoid overly cheesy and/or cliched music. We do not need the score to Braveheart or Last of the Mohicans, lovely as they are. In fact, not having any music is better. A good montage will just show pieces of conversations and scenes but interestingly juxtaposed cuts to new scenes.

3. Strive to be a bit irreverent. The globes can get away with this.

4. Do a fun year in review. Only stick to movies from 2007. This is where the Oscars always go wrong. Remember the tribute to patriotism or something, which basically went through any movie that ever showed a flag in it or something? Dumb. Be contemporary.

5. Just highlight the nominated performances. I guess you would need a host. Don't get that whore and certain picket line crosser Seacrest though.

Paul Plus Two!

Ok, trying to stick to a January 1st deadline, I am finalizing my honorable mention picks. I saw Once; this glorified jam session ain't making the cut. Although the leads were adorable and if "Falling Slowly" doesn't win an Oscar for Best Song, I am officially over what could be an awesome Oscar category! (Yes, I did just use the term 'awesome Oscar category', followed by an exclamation point.) I may still get in Margot, Kite Runner, and There Will Be Blood. I may have high hopes for Eastern Promises, new on DVD, and lately I am reading wonderful things (Ebert) about Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Sorry, Roger, you were kinda wrong about Atonement though. I think I wanted to write off Before the Devil as a middling caper, but maybe I shouldn't.

In any event, I am giving Honorable Mention recognition to Sweeney Todd and Superbad. In alphabetical order, let's start with Superbad.

Ok, this movie is hilarious. HI-LARIOUS. I didn't want to like gross Jonah Hill, but I did. Michael Cera is officially the new Bill Murrary. There I said it; I was hoping I would be the first, but apparently not. And McLovin simply rocks my socks off. Whip-smart dialogue, raunchy, yet smart at the same time. I gladly saw it twice in the theater, and both times marveled at the deeper sadness of this premise which superficially seems like a raucous teen romp, and I also marvel at how Jules turns out to be so much more righteous than Becca! With such glowing reviews, why did it not make my official top 10, you might ask? I will tell you: Seth Rogen and Bill Hader. The two most annoying characters of the year, who only proved more annoying because of their desperate refusal to go away and leave the all real fun to the kids. Sure, Seth Rogen wrote the script, but his character warranted 10 minutes and no more. I will mention that I had a hard time choosing among this, Knocked Up, and The Simpsons Movie, as they all kind of fall into that same category of low-brow humor. Although, clearly the Simpsons is not, and therefore, it won out.

Sweeney Todd! This is Burton at his best since Edward Scissorhands, there I said it. The material was just creepy and weird, but with a necessary purpose, and Burton eats everything up. Here, it makes sense, unlike Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, etc. Everyone is having fun being gory and devilish, and thus, so are we the audience. The songs are staged quite impressively and as Grandma R. put it so well, "this modern day opera" succeeds perfectly. What is against it? Well, the singing is weakish. Depp is fine, don't get me wrong, and while not overly stupendous as a singer per se, he is more about presence, which is wonderful. Bonham Carter, has not been as lovable and likable since Howard's End, but a singer she ain't. She does grow on you though which I am still piecing together, and I will support her nom in the Best Actress category. More on that, and I am sure Burton and Depp's Oscar hopes in later posts. "Attend the Tale of Sweeney Todd" is sorely missed here.

The Sixes of 2007

Well, here is my year end cinematic list. A word on the format. Some of you may be floored as to how anyone could even think of doing a year end list without a nice round number of 10. Well, I am... prepare to have your bubble shattered. This year, I think I should stick to the end of the year deadline, but also I really can't pass up the opportunity to use this post's title. I will include two honorable mentions later. Other films which may very well have figured on this list, but I just haven't seen yet include: Once, Margot at the Wedding, There Will Be Blood, and The Kite Runner. If any of these move me, once I see them, I will let the internet know. I still am kicking myself for missing Margot; it is no longer playing at any theater near me. Noah Baumach is my scribe. To a lesser extent, Elizabeth 2, Into the Wild, and Michael Clayton are lingering this awards season, but I couldn't possibly love, right? Maestro! -

#6 Rescue Dawn (which I often call Red Dawn - this links to my review almost two years ago!) This film was nearly flawless until the final final scene, which didn't quite ring true for me. Still, the rest is a lovely story of camaraderie and hope. Much more literary than prison break suspense, which is always nice. Much of the buzz was surrounding Christian Bale's performance, but for me Best Supporting Actor should be duked out between Steve Zahn and Jeremy Davies. Academy, are you listening?!

#5 The Simpsons (I sang that like in the opening credits). This was a poignant non-stop giggle/guffaw fest. This was just the extended perfect Simpsons episode: great satire, awesome visuals, silliness, touching. Hilarious and genuinely heart-felt, Marge and Homer continue to be America's greatest couple. The movie tried to include every cast member, which is not going un-noticed....albeit some were left out. The trippy Homer spiritual journey is amazing, once again. #4 The Savages A good simple, real story. Is that too much to ask for? And an actor's film. Quiet, touching, at moments heartbreaking, at moments hilarious, and at the best moments, inappropriately hilarious. Linney and Hoffman are superb as the tragically flawed brother-sister tandem. They spend a good half of this movie simply walking to where they are supposed to go, or have been told to go, both of them looking entirely lost. For some reason that got to me. I have seen most of the other contenders for Best Actress. Linney, yet to score a major nom, has 'em beat.


#3 Juno Or as I like to call it: JUNOOOOOOOOO!!!!! From its comic book opening credits this movie is just delightful. At times I wondered if it was too aware of its quirkiness, which sadly I think any quirky movie these days is going to be, but who cares. And isn't it interesting how the pregnant teen is a positive role model for kids? Mindblowing. So fun and touching. Ellen Page is whimsically captivating, so unassuming at first. I swore I would never like Allison Janney, but I have to break that swear. Michael Cera is a hoot, although is he now officially type-cast as sweet, naive, awkward teen? Some awesome one-liners, but more importantly, a perfect little film. Juno for President. Jennifer Garner for a nom!

#2 Zodiac It is kinda surprising I liked this movie as much as I did. I am not the biggest fan of David Fincher, nor do I really love real-life events, cop dramas, and Jake Gyllenhaal as an actor. I normally will respond to a well done epic, which this is, and a period piece, which I guess we can call this, is also something I enjoy. At times Zodiac is downright reminiscent of The Silence of the Lambs, and if you know me, you know you can't go wrong there. You also can't get go wrong with Mr. Mark Ruffalo, who really must be my favorite actor, right? After three hours or so, I was still ready for part 2!

#1 No Country For Old Men Can we call it jumping on the bandwagon when it absolutely fits? I am realizing now that I just said I don't care for cop dramas, No Country is not even close to simply being a cop drama; it is just too epic and grandiose (i.e. magnificent). And even though I truly cherish a good old-fashioned Coen brothers' comedy, I am loving their venturing into other terrain: the western, minimalist drama, horror even, and here they are even adapting someone else's story. Javier Bardem is reaping every award known to man, which is fine I suppose, but I feel he is too overshadowing Josh Brolin and Kelly Macdonald, most notably for me. Maybe if Josh Brolin didn't beat up Diane Lane, but who knows. Kelly Macdonald broke my heart in every frame. NO COUNTRY!

This is getting too long. My Honorable Mention (Plus 2!)in a few days.