The Day I Lost My Marbles

For three and a half days, I had a pretty bowl of marbles. I am a 30 year old guy. It was horrifying enough when I accidentally shattered the bowl, sending marbles cascading everywhere, but the real story is... where did I get a bowl of marbles?

I will tell you.

Summer '06...it was a good summer. I was helping my parents clean Grandma R's garage. She had a large, LARGE glass jar, about the size of water cooler container, except this was glass with a screw on lid. I found it fascinating. Grandma R. noticed my interest and asked if I wanted it. Polite to a fault, I immediately declined, but she insisted... and I accepted. My mother, sensing the ridiculousness asked what I was going to do with such a jar. I thought maybe I would get a turtle or lizard, or a frog even, and build a planetarium, and finally fulfill the dreams I had as an 11 year old boy, but Mom scoffed. So I said, "Maybe I will just fill it with marbles." Mom laughed. Grandma R. said, "That will be a lot of marbles, but I can get you started." She then went into a nearby drawer and miraculously produced a Ziploc bag full of marbles. Where that bag came from and how Grandma R. immediately knew where it was is clearly a story for another post. In any event, I brought the jar home and the bag of marbles. But I never put the marbles in the jar. The jar sat in my foyer for a year and a half, and sits there still, and the marbles went into a nice serving bowl (probably for fruit) from Marshalls. Then this past Sunday, Christmas Eve Eve, my sister M. and her friend D. were over. D. saw the marbles and asked if he could put them from the Ziploc bag into the bowl. I acquiesced. On some level, I sensed the disaster.

I am a teacher. Believe it. I have this whole week off. I spend my days annoying people with real jobs with IM's and emails, drinking unhealthy amounts of coffee, seeing movies, and keeping up to date on the world of internet porn. I also have private dance parties. Some song I don't think I have ever heard, but is in my Itunes library came on. It is kinda snappy and very gangsta for me. It is called "Battling Go-Go Yubari in Downtown LA" by edIT. Seriously what is it doing in my iTunes? Anyway, I was dancing around my apt, and apparently did a move that was a bit too wide, and hit the fruitbowl, sending the marbles flying everywhere. It made the loudest sound ever. Ever. Remind me to ask my unfriendly neighbors why they weren't concerned about me. It was the sound of Armageddon. It sounded worse than the brother getting crushed under the bookcase in Howard's End looked. (If anyone gets that reference, marry me.)

So I lost my marbles. Not really lost, but destroyed, and like a wonderful trip to the beach when you keep pulling sand out from the oddest nooks and crannies, I am finding marbles everywhere.

My Name is Earl.

Just kidding....Welcome to my blog.